Ini bukan tentang aku yang gampang menyerah. Bukan itu. Aku cuma capek aja, kayaknya sesuatu seperti 'oke gak boleh gini lagi ya' itu basi dan gak ada pengaruhnya banget. There's no sincerity in that phrase, even a tiny bit. Percuma cerita-cerita....kalau ternyata hanya angin lalu saja.
Pada saat itu aku bisa bicara karena aku yakin semuanya masih bisa diperbaiki dan diubah, tapi sekarang, aku gak yakin lagi. Aku gak percaya lagi. Terserah aja. Jika dirasa simbiosis mutualisme itu masih ada, silahkan. Meskipun sebenernya yang jadi poin bukan itu. Apalagi ini mau ujian nasional, bukan saatnya bahas gituan. Jelas aja tindakan itu jadi hal yang negatif, karena sesuatu yang berkaitan dengan perasaan bisa segampang itu diabaikan. Harusnya sih dibenerin, tapi nampaknya manusia-manusia sekarang lebih suka sama apa yang ada di depan mereka, tanpa melihat lagi apa yang udah mereka lupain dan mereka tinggalin. Mana mikir, orang yang pernah kita dzalimi itu sakit apa enggak, yang pernah kita bully itu terluka apa enggak, yang pernah gak kita peduliin itu kecewa apa enggak; ya? Ya.
If you wanna leave, you can. I'll remember you though.
I remember everyone who leaves.
Sincerely,
Firnanda
Written on 2/04/2014
So, the attack is on the 14th.
At this point, I need more and more work out, preparing some shits which is going to be needed on d-day. Just imagine the war; the troops' thumping heart, the clenched fists, the flaming spirits, the well-prepared weapons. I hope I'm ready for this.
I've always been wondered at how tired my fellow friend was. The loud snoring could be heard from the top bunk every night. While me, myself, can't even force my eyes to shut or get the shit out of my head. That was until the rooster started to scream.
The war is even closer and I got myself called by the sergeant. He scolded me for not doing well on the shooting range a week ago. Does he think that I'm a fool? Because I got this punishment shit. This is so unfair. Totally unfair. After being scolded, I turned around and heard a loud 'bang' behind me. That was the sergeant, he tripped over my rifle. Well, even my rifle thinks that this is very unfair. I don't even remember why I left my rifle near the sergeant's table. Maybe I did it on purpose when I blanked out. That doesn't make sense, I know.
Everybody from Squad 120202 works harder than before, including me, I guess. Because in less than two weeks, we will show them what we are capable of in 3 days straight. I'm sure we'll win tho. We are not that weak.
I'm not that weak.
